It’s so final.
No matter how much we beg, pray or wish, we cannot turn back the clock.
And that is probably one of the most sickening, unreal realities of grief. It is a feeling we truly cannot describe until we have lived it.
We cannot go back to say what we needed to say. We cannot change how we said something, clarify what we meant, take back words we wish we had never spoken, or say, “I love you,” just one more time.
And it is hell on our hearts.
It’s so final.
We are forever changed
There is a ‘then’ and there is a ‘now’. On the outside, we may look the same, but the reality is we are not. So much changed between then and now. And sometimes the weight of everything we wish we had done differently, the missed opportunities, the conversations we wish we could have one more time, lingers and festers inside of us.
But what if it’s not all so final?
What if our loved ones who passed to the Other Side can still hear us?
What if they never actually left us, but their way of being with us simply changed?
I believe they know the things we carry. They know the guilt we hold over what was said and what was left unsaid. They know the conversations we replay in our minds and the things we would give anything to change.
And I believe they are still trying to remind us that they are here. That they can hear us. That they can see us. That they continue to share in our lives, just in a different way.
So what if we keep talking?
What if we tell them everything we needed to say?
What if we write to them, talk to them in the car, speak to them while we make supper, or whisper goodnight when the house is quiet?
What if we tell them we are sorry? Tell them we miss them. Tell them about our day. Tell them the funny story they would have laughed at. Tell them we love them over and over again.
Because, yes, death feels so final. We cannot change the fact that we desperately miss their physical presence. We cannot turn back the clock and change what happened.
But maybe we don’t have to stop talking. Maybe love gives us another way to continue the conversation.
So if there is something sitting heavily on your heart today, say it.
Talk to them. Keep talking. And maybe, little by little, leave some room in your heart for the possibility that your words are not disappearing into nowhere.
What if?
What if they hear you?
What if they have been listening all along?
What if love really does continue?
Maybe the relationship didn’t end. Maybe it changed.
So keep talking. Keep sharing. Keep saying what is on your heart. Keep saying, “I love you.”
Because maybe they hear every word. Maybe what we have been calling final is really just learning how to love and connect in a completely different way.
Maybe it’s not so final.
And maybe, for today, that little bit of “what if” is enough to hang onto. ❤️