On the days that I miss you most, those are the days I think back on our memories together.
If I didn’t have this pain, I know that I wouldn’t have had you and I wouldn’t have experienced such an incredible love.
The days that I miss you most are the days that I honour you. I know that love is never ending; the love for your child never stops, even with all of the pain, we don’t ever want it to stop. Because this turmoil in my heart means you lived. You were here, and you made an impact.
On the days that I miss you the most and the pain seems unbearable, I think of the fun times and I think of the memories we created. I honour the tough times and I remember how hard you fought and tried. I remember all of the confusion you felt and the lack of confidence that sometimes was so deep within you.
And I honour that.
I remember that goofy laugh of yours. The stories that never seemed to end, filled with so much detail and colour. I remember those deep, raw conversations that absolutely filled my soul, sitting with you, talking, and thinking how incredible of a voice you had.
It’s these days where it hurts so bad that I am grateful for this pain because it means that I actually had you. It means that I was blessed to be your mom.
I wouldn’t trade this for anything, no matter how hard it is because it means that I had you. It means that I have the memories that no one else has. It means that I was your mama.
So on the days that the pain is so bad, I wouldn’t change it for a thing. I will endure, I will honor, and I will always, always love you.
To Eternity and Beyond; on the days it hurts the most.